Steroids and baseball and cartoons

With the recent release of the Mitchell Report, it appears that our country is finally going to begin really cracking down on steroids, better known as ball-shrinking pills, in our professional sports.

Major League Baseball got really pissed awhile ago when they realized players were taking steroids, so they sent this little bitch named Mitchell to rat out everybody. 20 months later, Mitchell released his list showing all the players (see every All-Star game) that have been involved in the usage of steroids.

It is good that our society has decided to punish these players, because it's fun and entertaining, but they're missing the real root of the problem. The real root of the problem is a character named Popeye.

Popeye is responsible for all steroid-use problems within our country. Have you ever seen that show? It's about some weird sailor dude who gets in fights all the time. He's super weak so he has to eat "spinach" in order to get big enough to be able to fight this big meanie guy who wants to get with his stick-figure girlfriend. I think we all know what was really in that spinach: synthetic fat-soluble organic compounds. Steroids.

Popeye is a CHILDREN'S show. No wonder everyone in baseball does steroids, they were all children at one time, and all children watch cartoons, and one cartoon is Popeye.

Therefore, by undeniable deductive logic, one can conclude that Popeye is responsible for all these drug-use problems Major League Baseball is having.

The real root of the problem: cartoons. Bet you didn't think of that one, did ya Mitchell? Nope.