Monday, December 3, 2007

Princess Peach

Princess Peach was not a very good princess.

In case some of you aren't huge freakin' nerds, Princess Peach is a fictional character who reigns with her power over every individual within the Mushroom Kingdom, the land in which Super Mario lives in. The plot of every good Super Mario game involves the capturing of this local monarchial representative, leading Mario onto a long, grueling adventure to get to her captor.

But what I don't get is the fact that she's a princess, who lives in this huge castle (where there are obviously tons of people chillin' out at any one time in) but she still manages to get caught like 30 times. Mario has talked to Bowser (who is usually the captor) plenty of times within the games and I can tell you he's not very smart. He's actually pretty slow and it's easy to get behind him and whip him around by his tail.Nonetheless, Princess Peach needs to figure this out, because something has to be done about it. If she's rich enough to be living in a castle, I would assume she has enough money to throw away on some damn security. Hell, even a fence might do the trick. If I lived in a nation where my leader was in a constant state of being captured, I would get really angry, because how could diplomatic decisions ever be made? Is there a second in command? Who is it? Is it Toad?

What the hell WAS Toad? Was he a mushroom or a mutant or a man with a hat?Anyway, Princess Peach was a bad princess because she didn't know have the foresight to invest some funding into security within her castle, thereby leading to her being captured not once or twice, but roughly 10 times that much.



What was Bowser's deal with Princess Peach? I wonder if all these Super Mario games are just one big complicated love triangle that went a little too far.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Thank you Mario...but our princess is in ANOTHER CASTLE!!" I think that was the first time I ever used the F-word as a kid.

Then she was in another castle 6 more freakin' times.

Macabre Mask said...

Toad was o obviously a toadstool boy, just another being in the Mushroom Kingdoom.
As for Princess Peach... what did you expect? She is a blonde, after all.
I wonder what Mario ever saw in her... it must have been the money.

Anonymous said...

She's stupid as heck, they should have a real ruler instead. I never liked that bimbo.

Anonymous said...

If she invested into security, then how could the game progress? I think you're being too critical on something that isn't even real.

Just picture this:

princess peach actually does something to insure that she isn't captured, and it works, so just what would mario do then for the rest of the game?

Nothing, that's what. If princess peach actually did something to fight back, then bowser wouldn't kidnap her, and mario would be out of a job, and before you know it...

BAM! There's another fifeen Mario Party games released for the wii.

I say bowser's doing a damn fine job kidnapping peach and making sure mario gets his workout so the masses don't have to deal with any more mini-games and screwed up chess boards.

That's just my opnion though, and kudos for saying yours. I also would like to know just what the hell toad is.

Human + Mushroom = Toad?

Anonymous said...

i think i love you.


<3 best post ever.

Unknown said...

man, you gave me a whole new insight on this super mario plot! I will never play the game the same way... a love triangle! it's so freaking obvious once all is said! and by the way, am I the only one who thinks that Toad is gay?

Unknown said...

PS: so what if Mario is put out of job after the princess invests in a little bit of security (fence, dog, cameras, alarm, secret basement...) should I remind you that mario's original job is PLUMBER??? there must be a lot of pipes to repair in that old obsolete castle of hers... what the heck, he could even take care of princess's own private pipe system... but that's a whole different game, whole different rating...

Jonny Doom said...

I think you people don't get the humor here...because this is very funny. For instance, why doesn't the Trix Rabbit simply make a few paid appearances and BUY some ***damned Trix from a Super Target? Haha.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, You think too much! It is only a game!!!