My friend Owen and I were hanging out last night, minding our own business while mocking sales booths at the local county fair, when suddenly, a man came up to us and begged us to take his survey.I looked up at the sign above his head, reading "Christianity" something-or-other, and I knew it was going to be a heavy few minutes. I wanted to keep going, but Owen saw too good of a chance for straight up el-oh-els.
I'm not going to go into too much detail on the conversation, other than the fact that the man who asked us to take a survey was actually attempting to talk us into following his sect of Evangelism. I argued with this man for over an hour over his crazy views, and got him to concretely admit/say the following things:
1. My friend Owen and I, for not completely accepting Jesus Christ as his lord and savior, would be going to Hell.
2. Hitler is going to Heaven (assuming he was Christian).
3. There are absolutely no contradictions in the Bible.
4. The Bible is the oldest book ever.
5. The Bible has been proven to be 100% scientifically accurate.
6. If your family is starving to death, stealing bread from a rich man to save your family is still absolutely wrong.
7. The Old Testament is not the Hebrew Testament.
8. Adam and Eve not only totally existed but nothing in that story is symbolic or metaphorical.
9. You can love someone and still stone them to death.
10. Christianity is like car insurance.
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