I have decided that anyone who carries around a toothpick in their mouth at all times is a complete douche.
My reasoning for this is, that they (douches) necessitate something hard being in their mouth at all times.
Instead of pushing the sexual innuendo here, I'm instead going to state that I think each and every one of you twerps (yes, I called you twerps), who enjoy chewing on toothpicks are actually trying to cover up your stupidity with overzealous body language.
You know how I can tell? Because every time you're discussing something, you decide, "Hmmm... I'm going to take this toothpick out of my mouth and point it at the person I'm talking to in order to gesture that I actually have a clue as to what I'm talking about."
But you don't have a clue of what you're talking about. You never do. That's why you chew toothpicks.
Plus you wish you had a cigarette in your mouth, because that's what people who smoke cigarettes do.
With the recent announcement of Diablo III finally in the works from Blizzard, I have to take some time and scoff at people who think that they'll actually be playing the game within the next decade.
Anyone really excited about a Blizzard announcement should take some time and really think about how much time passes between a Blizzard announced "Release Date" and an actual Blizzard release date.
You know what would have been a really fun game to play? StarCraft: Ghost.
On the XBOX.
In 2002.
Maybe if they wouldn't have pussy-footed around and made sweet-ass opening cinematics, they would have spent more time on actually finishing the damn game.
The fact that StarCraft: Ghost was never released pissed me off to such an extent that I refuse to get excited at any Blizzard announcement ever again.
It's one thing if a game developer wants to delay a game awhile in order to refine it to ensure it runs properly.
It's another thing altogether to get us all excited and then NEVER RELEASE THE GAME.
I laugh at people who think that Blizzard's going to release something on time. Especially with 3-4 games in the works right now (StarCraft II, Diablo III, some World of WarCraft thing, StarCraft Ghost?) don't expect to see anything anytime soon.
This Dunkin' Donuts commercial came on TV the other night, and the entire 30 seconds, I was in shock. With my DVR, I rewound over and over again until I had watched this thing about 10 times:
Dunkin' Donuts now needs to do several things:
1. Make an entire series of these commericials, because the music is amazingly awesome.
2. Make an entire series of these guys for TV, where hopefully this song will be playing in the background the entire 30 minutes.
3. Give me an unlimited supply of Dunkin' Donuts Iced Coffee for totally unintentionally advertising for them.
Every time I go outside and walk around for a period of one second or more, I'm bombarded with a catastrophic amount of ticks crawling over me. Catastrophic.
Well, maybe not that many ticks, but it's still annoying as hell.
So where the hell are these little things hiding? I mean, have you ever sat down and looked in the grass? There's nothing but grass there.
I have come to the conclusion that ticks are invisible. Until they touch something, of course. It's the only logical explanation.
Also, what was that television show "The Tick" about? Wasn't that guy from Seinfeld in it?
I have decided that anyone who carries around a toothpick in their mouth at all times is a complete douche.
Douche.
Douche.
