I Want To Become a Treehugger

No, no, no. I don't want to save trees. That's just stupid.

I think it would be much, much cooler to be ingrained with the title of "treehugger" for doing just that, hugging trees.

I could go to rallies and all the hippy liberal folk would adore me because I would symbolize everything they loved about the good of humanity. I would be representing the decision to blah blah blah don't care give me money.

Also, I could play the part of humanity well in the sense that I could be an asshole and openly mock their clothing and extensive leg hair growth. I'd probably stop if they threatened to take away the money, though.

The point is this, how come hippies got to steal the term tree hugger when there are completely genuine people out there who wish to hug trees and don't want anything out of it? (Granted, I would want to get something out of it, like say some endorsements or something, but that's beside the point).

The second, and far more important point is this: somebody give me money and I'll hug all your trees.