The Tortoise and the Hare

I have decided that there must have been some major foul play in the race between the Tortoise and the Hare. Assuming both contestants were properly prepared for the race, there is no freaking way that the Hare would spend weeks upon weeks getting himself in shape to only nap halfway through the thing.

Why wouldn't he wait till after the race? There is no logical explanation other than the obvious assumption most people make, that is to say it is assumed he was just being cocky.

I have a differing opinion. I have to say I must believe that the Tortoise went to great lengths in order to drug his nemesis before the race.

Think about it. Why else would the Hare just all of a sudden become super tired in the middle of one of the most monumental races in all of history? Granted, at the time they probably didn't realize that the race was going to be as famous as it is today, but there HAD to be some sort of audience watching. If there was an audience watching, don't you think they would have been alarmed when suddenly the Hare became unconscious? Wouldn't they think something fishy was going on if all of a sudden their star athlete all-up and passed out? I certainly would, and I would have called the Tortoise out on it so fast.

There should be drug testing done on every single Tortoise vs. Hare competition from this day on.

Cheater.

This and That

I have been wondering this question my entire life, and I want it to be answered: At what point does this become that?

Is something "this" as long as it is within arm's reach?

Is something "that" as long as it's just out of reach?

Say a person is standing next to a tree. Is it more appropriate to associate the description of "this" or "that" with it? This tree. That tree.

These are the things that frustrate me on a daily basis.

Blackboards

I want to know why blackboards (chalkboards) aren't illegal yet. There is no worse sound than those that come from chalkboards. Therefore, they should be illegal.

Why do people still buy chalkboards? Do they not realize that whiteboards are 10 or 11 times better? Not only is it wicked easy to erase on whiteboards, but you don't have to deal with a bunch of chalk on your hands afterward.

One of the weirdest, worst, most excruciatingly awful thoughts that I have ever had is that of a person writing with a piece of chalk on a piece of paper. Think about it! It would feel all weird and be weird sounding.

I'm in a class currently and I have to deal with professors using chalkboards, wiping the chalkboards, and subsequently filling the air with poisonous chalk-gas we all breathe in. We'll likely all eventually die from it.

If you dislike gross sounds and don't like dying, I would recommend you join in the fight against chalkboards. Send a letter to your Congressperson today.

Do it for the children.

Doritos

Say you're hungry and you want a snack. Say you're hungry and have no time and want a snack. What do so many people I know do? Pull out a bag of Doritos. Which is stupid.

Out of all easily accessible snack foods that come in small pouches, why would anyone resort to eating Doritos? There is absolutely no way to eat Doritos without having your hand become a Dorito, as they are the messiest food in the world. If you're in a rush to eat something quick, there is no worse choice, unless you enjoy licking your hands.

I don't like the concept of people eating Doritos, then licking their hands, then touching things that I touch.

Maybe Doritos is the reason why people get sick. It should be banned.