Monday, December 22, 2008

What the HELL is the Deal with Mountain Goats?

All right. There's no denying that certain people/animals/viruses on this planet have certain "amazing" attributes (i.e. Michael Jordan is really good at basketball, ants are really good at carrying things that should be physically impossible for them to carry, I am really good at being the best person on the planet, etc etc).

Anyway, all amazing attributes anyone on earth could have are pathetic in comparison to those found within the mountain goat. Otherwise, how the HELL could this happen:


If you can't figure out what that is, it's a damn mountain goat chillin' on the side of a cliff. Here's another one:


Now I know what you're thinking.

You're thinking, "Well hey there! There must be a reasonable explanation for these fantastic happenings!"

Well you're freaking wrong. There is no reasonable explanation as to how and why any animal can be this good at acrobatics and climbing. If you look closely at these pictures, you'll notice that none of the mountain goats found above have wings. Therefore, the only conclusion I must make is that mountain goats are magical.

Not magical in a "illusionist" sense, but rather, in an "able to hover on the side of a cliff" sense.

Mountain goats might be the coolest animals I have ever seen. I mean, how much time and energy did this mountain goat have to go through to be able to lick this rock? The process of going about being in this position seems so preposterous to me to begin with, but the fact that this dude was like "Eff it. I'm lickin' this rock. Screw physics."

Well, that just makes me respect mountain goats even more.


That had to be the best damn tasting rock ever.