Monday, February 18, 2008

Chapstick

Does anyone else have an extreme need to have some form of chapstick on them at all times? I do, and there is nothing more agonizing in the world for me than leaving home and realizing shortly after that I have forgotten my chapstick.

I very often speak aloud to large groups of people with sentences like, "Oh, what a nice day. I'm so glad to be out and about and OH SHIT I FORGOT MY CHAPSTICK."

I shouldn't have to live in a world where the only way for my lips to be moist is to wipe some foreign cream all over them. I never had this problem when I was a kid, but for some reason I can't go anywhere anymore without making absolutely sure I have chapstick in my pocket.

I know others have this same problem, too. I know others find themselves in a position where their lips are totally fine, but once they realize they don't have their chapstick, their lips crisp up like potato chips and the desert and chapped lips.

There is only one logical conclusion that I can come to when considering these issues: Chapstick is laced with crack.