I am displeased with the monotony found in today's banks. I think that banks should not just be a place where money transactions occur, but also a place for entertainment. When I own my own chain of banks, I will have several key components to my banks that will make them way, way better than any of my lame-ass competitors.
Component #1
Everyone working behind a desk must be dressed like the Monopoly guy. I don't know what his name is, and don't feel like taking two seconds to Google his name, but you know who I'm talking about. But what if the person behind the desk is a female, you ask? Don't care. Everyone will be dressed in the appropriate uniform.Component #2
Aren't you supposed to feel super happy when you all of a sudden gain a bunch of money? Well, I do, and I feel like the only thing that could make me feel any better is if there were loud sound effects helping to describe the actions I'm taking. (On a side note - there really ought to be sound effects for everything we do, but that's an entirely different story).
Anyway, at my banks, whenever you take a large sum of money out of my bank, we will ring our bell to replicate the sound made within Super Mario games whenever you acquire a coin. Yes, at my banks, whenever you take out money, the exact dollar amount will be multiplied by four. The amount of "coin rings" will correlate completely with how many quarters your are taking out. If there is extra change on the side, I will round up and have the coin sound ring once more.
Component #3
Red carpets. There need to be more red carpets everywhere, especially at the bank. Red carpets are just cool in general, because I say so. And they go well with Component #4, which is:Component #4
Everyone taking out any sum of money will receive a pair of sunglasses and have their picture taken. This finishes off your experience at my bank, making you feel like a movie star and wanting to come back for more.I can't wait to rule the banking world.
